“I’m so over dating!”
“I’m never going to meet the one.”
How many times have you heard a friend, or yourself, exasperatedly moan one of the above statements?
If so, you’re not alone. Actually more than half (51%) of Americans between the ages of 18-34 don’t have a romantic partner, and most single adults say the main reason is that they haven’t met the right person.
Dating is supposed to be a fun, exhilarating, and beautiful adventure. The journey to love and long-term partnership is one that should feel invigorating, not draining or discouraging!
While it’s inevitable that, as you explore and experience different relationships, you will meet some incompatible people, the quality of potential partners you attract is dependent on your approach to dating.
A New Approach to Dating
Do you find yourself constantly going on lackluster first dates? Are you getting into relationships with people who aren’t aligned with your values or don’t fulfill your needs?
Here are some tips on how to optimistically and mindfully approach dating so you can attract the right partner for you and your pet!
Present the best version of your authentic self.
One of the most harmful misconceptions about dating and attraction is that you need to look or act a certain way in order to find a partner.
Limiting beliefs such as “all men like…,” “all women want…” or “I should wear…” only will hold you back or force yourself into a box. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Every person has certain qualities they are drawn to, and attraction blooms and thrives in various ways for different people.
Attractiveness is feeling comfortable in who you are, happy in your life, and passionate about the things you spend your time doing.
It’s important to practice self-care and highlight your personal strengths and unique qualities while dating. However, it’s imperative to make the distinction between how you may be carrying yourself because you think it’s how you should versus what actually makes you feel good and confident.
Listening to that “should” results in trying to fit yourself into a definition of attractiveness that isn’t in alignment with your authentic self, therefore attracting partners you won’t be compatible with for the long haul.
Let’s talk about you.
What excites you? What style of clothing makes you feel your best? What conversation topics light you up? What situations make you shine?
The answers to those questions will highlight your traits to showcase, environments to be in, and outfits that encourage and reflect you.
Leading a life that is fulfilling, joyful, and passionate is not only going to make you happier but will draw like-minded people toward you like a magnet!
Get clear on your “relationship values.”
How do you want to feel in a relationship? What qualities do you want in a partner? What values and experiences do you want to share with them?
Getting clarity about your “must-haves” will help you be more intentional about the way you approach dating and not waste time with people who don’t meet those standards.
Don’t be afraid to have strong boundaries around what you want, but recognize the difference between “must-haves” and “nice-to-haves” to avoid limiting yourself.
For instance, embrace the fact that you “must-have” a partner who’s a pet lover or, better yet, adores yours. But be open-minded about “nice-to-haves” like their hair color or hobbies.
Getting out there can be virtual.
The more people you meet, the more likely you are to meet the person of your dreams.
Create your online dating profile and browse around. But also look for opportunities to connect with potential partners in your day-to-day life at the grocery store or running other in-person errands.
Having a pet is an even better excuse to scope out your neighborhood. Take a few fun pics while you’re out there. And, by all means, strike up a conversation with that cutie at the dog park. Need a conversation starter? Ask them if they’ve heard of FetchaDate!