“Tall, dark, and handsome” are a constant descriptor I hear when it comes to the dating scene. However, there are two other descriptors that will make me do a double-take from first glance: funny (for example, silly face photos) + handyman.
Any man who is the equivalent of Overton Wakefield Jones (from the sitcom “Living Single”) is a winning duo. Interestingly, when I look at online dating profiles, I don’t see this type of guy nearly as much. It’s very possible that the handymen have all been scooped up. Or, they were all too busy the past two years with homeowners getting far more home renovation work completed while in social isolation. But what about the funny guys?
Are hobby pics the best for online dating profiles?
I thought about the photo selection process while reading an Insider take on an online dating profile. Dating coach Amy Nobile asked 31-year-old freelance writer Christopher to replace a photo of his (adorable) dog sitting on his lap in the backseat of a car “with one that showcases another hobby, like running or traveling.” Arguably, being a dog owner is not a “hobby,” it’s a lifestyle. However, I liked his caption, “You love to laugh and don’t take yourself too seriously.”
While the dog in the pic is living its best life, hanging out of the window and enjoying the breeze, I do think Christopher’s mouth gaping open wasn’t the greatest image. But it was better than the one with his tongue hanging out with another inexplicable person in the pic. Oddly, that photo was OK’d by the dating coach because it was showing his “playful and adventurous side.” Don’t WingPets do the same thing by default?
In all fairness, one WingPet pic was OK’d by the dating coach. But what’s “loving” about standing in front of a 24-hour “Do not block driveway active 24 hours towaway” sign? The dog is pulling away and not looking interested. I’ve come to believe that pet lovers have a different way of choosing pics versus non-pet lovers.
Should silly face photos be the default online dating image?
And what about the sexy pics? Are those out of style too? Maybe some women don’t want to see the guy who shows off his muscles, abs, and biceps in a collection of gym photos. (The dating coach told him to get rid of the gym pic he’d originally chosen.)
For women who aren’t gym rats, those workout images can be both off-putting and make them wonder if these guys will be sizing up a woman’s weight on every date. But is the “silly pic” the right alternative? Or, is it trying too hard to look like he’s having a good time?
I’m not opposed to silly pics. There’s a fine art to choosing the right one though, for both men and women. If it’s done tastefully, online daters can still get a good idea of whether to swipe left or right. In this pic above, viewers can see enough of the woman’s eyes (well, killer eye shadow anyway), nose, and mouth to tell what she looks like. The flower is complimentary, and she looks like she’s having a good time. It gives off the same “don’t take yourself too seriously” vibe that Christopher was going for.
But in the “silly face photos” (like the one at the top of this post and the tongue-out pic of Christopher in a group shot), those creative faces may make it more difficult to tell what this person looks like. What if someone swipes right, sees a serious pic, and then scrambles to swipe left? (Sorry, it’s the truth.)
Tongues out. All teeth. Too close to the camera. Some “silly pics” are better suited for virtual dental visits, not getting dates.
Recommended Read: “Using Your Pet Pics All Wrong ~ Your dog or cat pics make more sense on pet-lover online dating apps“
So how does one reach a happy medium? Maybe the online dater wants to show off a funnier side but also be attractive. Both goals are possible. Here’s what you should keep in mind while setting up your online profile.
First, making a funny face doesn’t mean you can tickle someone’s funny bone. It just means you know how to cross your eyes or do a fish impersonation. The profile bio is where a funny person really gets to shine. This is an opportunity to show off a wittier side in words. It doesn’t have to be an entire stand-up routine, but it should be witty enough to make potential suitors smile and reply.
Second, be careful with the “silly” group shots. If the goal here is to get yourself a date, inexplicable people in the group shot may leave other users smiling at your friends, not you. Make it well-known which person in the group shot is you. Ideally, especially if your friends don’t want to be involved, use photo-editing software to blur their faces so there’s no confusion.
Third, balance the pics out. If every single shot is a silly face photos, users may wonder if you’re a complete goofball all day long or just having a good time. Of course, that doesn’t mean every shot has to be a smoldering eye image of you by a tree, thinking about life and your next hike up to the mountains. Just make sure you show all parts of your personality in pics. If all else fails, especially on online dating apps with a restricted number of pics, create your own collage of all your moods in one photo.
Fourth, don’t show off hobbies that you really don’t have in the long run. Reverting back to my love for handymen, don’t wear a toolbelt if you just got it as a Christmas gift but everything is still in the plastic. Choose hobby pics that you really enjoy doing, so it can be a potential date later.
And even with these four ideas in mind and choosing the best photos in the world, remember that you’ll still have to carry on a conversation. Choose your words as thoughtfully as you choose your pics. By doing both, this will be an opportunity to show that you online daters are serious about finding that special someone without taking yourself too seriously in the process. Happy dating!
