In the wake of COVID-19, couples who live together may be facing a whole new set of challenges. Some of us have crippling separation anxiety from the thought of going back to the office and leaving our pets at home. Others are preparing to work-from-home long-term, wishing they had an office to escape back to.
While the benefits of wearing your PJs for the staff meeting outweigh an in-person 8:00 a.m. meeting, you didn’t sign up to share your living space and your office with your pet and partner 24/7. So, here are a few tips to make sure your relationship with your partner and pet not only survives a long-term, work-from-home environment but thrives.
Agree on a workspace
Not all couples have dedicated offices for each partner—or a dedicated office space beyond the kitchen table. If you are sharing the same room, discuss what you both need for a successful day. Does your partner like to play music while you need quiet? Are your pets allowed in your workspaces, and who will take the dog out during working hours? Check in weekly to be sure your home office setup is working for you both.
Lastly, try not to adjust your partner’s workstation. After all, they are your co-worker now, and you wouldn’t reorganize a co-worker’s desk in a typical office.
Create meaningful routines
When working from home, start each day with a meaningful routine. This could be a walk around the block with your partner, dog, and coffee. Dr. John Gottman, psychological researcher and author of What Makes Love Last, recommends starting each day with a six-second kiss.
I love the idea of starting with a kiss. But is it just me or does six seconds seem long? I’m settling on 3 seconds! But I digress. He also recommends kissing every time you say goodbye (I’m totally on board with that) even if you are just parting to separate rooms. Taking routine walks every day will keep your pup from begging for your attention while keeping you feeling rejuvenated and ready to work.
Keep your pets occupied
Our pets have been on our Zoom meetings, and they may have sent out gibberish messages typed out by their little paws walking across the keyboard. Keep your dog occupied during the workday with fun and interesting toys—preferably squeak-free! Rotate the toys with new ones every few days to keep them entertained and stimulated. If you have a cat, place a cat tree near you but out of sight of your webcam. This will encourage your cat to get cozy on the tree rather than your computer.
Create alone time
As much as you love them, being physically beside your partner and pet all day every day can drive anyone crazy! Take time for yourself, and allow your partner time for themselves as well. Keep your pup busy with a puzzle or other interactive toy, and take time for you. Take a bubble bath, exercise, read—whatever makes you happy. Your body and your relationships will thank you.
Prioritize your time together
When it’s time to shut down for the day, really shut down. With your office in the next room (or the same room), it’s easy to check your email or continue to work on that nagging project late into the evening or on the weekends. In 2020, The Economist found that Americans extended their working day by an average of 32 minutes each day. That’s an extra 160 minutes a week, 112 hours a year! Those 112 hours could be spent snuggling in bed, going on a date night, or spending the day at the dog beach.
It’s important to set clear boundaries around work. Otherwise, your partner and your pet may feel neglected while you feel overworked and exhausted.
Whatever your work-from-home setup looks like, with patience and open communication between yourself and your partner, you can all still have a happy relationship.
