We’re all familiar with how intimidating, disastrous, or downright terrifying it can be to introduce a date or partner to your family. Especially it’s difficult to get along your pet and partner.
In “Meet the Parents,” a sibling showed up to dinner with their neck covered in hickeys, and the girlfriend fleed after being asked if she’s a vampire. It was a glorious mess. In real life though, there’s an intense level of vulnerability tied to the moments when you’re weaving two important parts of your life together. Will those stitches hold?
As you FetchaDaters know, an important (and most furry) part of your family doesn’t have the ability to communicate as directly about their feelings toward your date as your extended family may.
Even so, there are ways your pet(s) might show their dislike, distrust, or jealousy toward your date, such as barking, hiding, whining, or getting territorial.
It can be hard not to interpret it as a red flag. Comedic actor Bill Murray says, “I’m suspicious of people who don’t like dogs, but I trust a dog when it doesn’t like a person.”
But, before you get back to swiping, let’s delve into the potential reasons behind your pet’s feelings and things you can do to mend the relationship between them and your date.
Your pet is jealous
There are few things better than the excitement of the beginning of a relationship. It’s easy to get swept up in that person, and you happily dive in. You want to spend every waking moment together, know everything about them, and tell them everything about you.
Although that all-encompassing infatuation and seemingly endless dopamine rush are wonderful and wildly romantic, it can make it difficult to find time for other important things in your life.
Spending quality time with pets and partners
With a new person in your life, are you now spending less time with your pet? Is feeding time being delayed because you just needed five more minutes together? Are walks cut short in favor of date night? Has their bed been moved out of your room because, well, you know?
If your pet is feeling neglected, it’s going to affect their mood and how they act toward this person who is soaking up all of your time and affection. Find ways to incorporate your pet into your routine with your new beau.
Take your pet on your beach stroll. Invite them up on the couch for movie night. Cook dinner together instead of leaving your pet home alone.
Before long, your pet will be excited to see your date stop by because they’ll equate their presence to positive experiences.
Your pet doesn’t like how your dates treat them
Pay close attention to how your date interacts with your pet. If your date has a pet of their own, they might treat your pet how they treat theirs, forgetting that animals are different even if the same breed.
Perhaps your date picks up your cat or takes toys from your dog to play with them. This doesn’t mean they’re insensitive or not good with pets. They simply haven’t been told how to interact with your pet.
In a fun way, show them how your pet likes to be petted or scratched, or how to know when your pet wants to be left alone.
Your pet has been mistreated in the past
If your pet has been abused or neglected in the past, your rescue pet experienced trauma that can affect the way they interact with some people.
A survey conducted by the Humane Society found that men under 30 are the largest group to mistreat animals, and women over 60 are the largest group to neglect animals.
If you know your (rescue) pet has been abused, but you don’t know the extent of their history, this is a viable possibility.
Once you’re able to identify why your rescue pet is feeling the way that they are, you’ll be able to take steps to change it.
Accept the fact that it may take time for your pet to trust your date.
Remember, the one thing your pet and your date have in common is that they both like you. With a little patience, things will improve.
